WOOHOO!! Mitt won Michigan--now it’s off to Nevada and South Carolina!!
I’ve been a little bit out of the loop lately, it’s been especially busy down at the embryonic stem cell research factory lately. We’re trying to use stem cells to grow a conscience for Republicans who still believe that George Bush is doing a good job in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary; this is proving to be the most intractable problem we’ve ever faced. Every time we try, we come up with a perfect genetic copy of Rush Limbaugh’s ass. Curious indeed, but we’ll keep working on it.
Anyhoo…how about our boy Mitt? He finally won the gold medal all his adoring legions were praying for (when they weren’t busy praying for a plague of angry, rabid locusts to descend upon the McCain and Huckabee camps).
But it’s not just that Mitt won that is most exciting for his supporters, it’s HOW he won. Taking a page from Bush’s playbook, Mitt has chosen to bank on the stupidity of the Republican electorate. Quite simply, he lied---and the people loved it!! Republicans, it seems, have an incredible propensity to ignore what they know in their gut about a person, and choose instead to accept statements they know not to be true, but which are spoken in a confident, reassuring way. A couple of weeks ago Mitt was playing the part of a small government conservative, but in Michigan he morphed into a big government economic liberal, backing a $100 billion bailout for the auto industry…the people of Michigan forgot about the old Mitt, they loved the new one! He denounced the increase of the corporate CAFE standards last week in Michigan, completely at odds with his previous statements, but once again, Michiganders ignored Mitt’s past statements and focused on the new Mitt. Forget his past support in gay rights, the new Mitt says that he despises gays, and Republicans love it! Ignore my past support of abortion rights, says Mitt, focus instead on my new position against those same rights. Republicans dutifully comply! Pay no attention to his past record in Massachusetts where he increased taxes and fees by a total of $700 million, he says that he’s a committed tax cutter, and people simply accept it! He asks that we ignore his history of slashing jobs as a corporate raider at Bain Capital, focus instead on his re-invention as a supporter of job growth…and we do! He’s found the formula for success; simple prevarication. Given that this is at the core of the man, his stock in trade so to speak, he seems at this point to be a shoo-in for the nomination!
It’s has been pointed out repeatedly that Mitt has been on both sides of nearly every major issue. Rational people might see this as a liability, but many Republicans (principally of those who still support Bush, one presumes) don’t see it that way. Rather than focus on his hyper-aggressive flip flopping, they dutifully do what Mitt asks and focus on his latest incarnation. Mitt’s campaign seems predicated on the belief that most Republicans are either stupid enough or have poor powers of recollection (ideally both) to put him over the top. So far it seems to be working. Go Mitt!
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WOOHOO!! Mitt won Michigan--now it’s off to Nevada and South Carolina!!
I’ve been a little bit out of the loop lately, it’s been especially busy down at the embryonic stem cell research factory lately. We’re trying to use stem cells to grow a conscience for Republicans who still believe that George Bush is doing a good job in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary; this is proving to be the most intractable problem we’ve ever faced. Every time we try, we come up with a perfect genetic copy of Rush Limbaugh’s ass. Curious indeed, but we’ll keep working on it.
Anyhoo…how about our boy Mitt? He finally won the gold medal all his adoring legions were praying for (when they weren’t busy praying for a plague of angry, rabid locusts to descend upon the McCain and Huckabee camps).
But it’s not just that Mitt won that is most exciting for his supporters, it’s HOW he won. Taking a page from Bush’s playbook, Mitt has chosen to bank on the stupidity of the Republican electorate. Quite simply, he lied---and the people loved it!! Republicans, it seems, have an incredible propensity to ignore what they know in their gut about a person, and choose instead to accept statements they know not to be true, but which are spoken in a confident, reassuring way. A couple of weeks ago Mitt was playing the part of a small government conservative, but in Michigan he morphed into a big government economic liberal, backing a $100 billion bailout for the auto industry…the people of Michigan forgot about the old Mitt, they loved the new one! He denounced the increase of the corporate CAFE standards last week in Michigan, completely at odds with his previous statements, but once again, Michiganders ignored Mitt’s past statements and focused on the new Mitt. Forget his past support in gay rights, the new Mitt says that he despises gays, and Republicans love it! Ignore my past support of abortion rights, says Mitt, focus instead on my new position against those same rights. Republicans dutifully comply! Pay no attention to his past record in Massachusetts where he increased taxes and fees by a total of $700 million, he says that he’s a committed tax cutter, and people simply accept it! He asks that we ignore his history of slashing jobs as a corporate raider at Bain Capital, focus instead on his re-invention as a supporter of job growth…and we do! He’s found the formula for success; simple prevarication. Given that this is at the core of the man, his stock in trade so to speak, he seems at this point to be a shoo-in for the nomination!
It’s has been pointed out repeatedly that Mitt has been on both sides of nearly every major issue. Rational people might see this as a liability, but many Republicans (principally of those who still support Bush, one presumes) don’t see it that way. Rather than focus on his hyper-aggressive flip flopping, they dutifully do what Mitt asks and focus on his latest incarnation. Mitt’s campaign seems predicated on the belief that most Republicans are either stupid enough or have poor powers of recollection (ideally both) to put him over the top. So far it seems to be working. Go Mitt!
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